Q: What's the difference between a lawyer and a liar?
A: The pronunciation.
Q: What's the difference between a lawyer and a prostitute? A: A prostitute will stop screwing you when you're dead.
Q: What's the difference between a lawyer and a vulture? A: The lawyer gets frequent flyer miles.
Q: What's the difference between a mosquito and a lawyer? A: One is a blood-sucking parasite, the other is an insect.
Q: Why did God make snakes just before lawyers? A: To practice.
Q: What's the difference between a lawyer and a herd of buffalo? A: The lawyer charges more.
Q: What's the difference between a tick and a lawyer? A: The tick falls off when you are dead.
Q: What do you get when you cross a blonde and a lawyer? A: I don't know. There are some things even a blonde won't do.
Q: Know how copper wire was invented? A: Two lawyers were fighting over a penny.
Q: Why does the law society prohibit sex between lawyers and their clients? A: To prevent clients from being billed twice for essentially the same service.
Q: What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should? A: Stick his bill up his ass.
Q: How can you tell when a lawyer is lying? A: Their lips are moving.
Q: Why did New Jersey get all the toxic waste and California all the lawyers? A: New Jersey got to pick first.
Q: Why don't lawyers go to the beach? A: Cats keep trying to bury them.
Q: What do you call 5000 dead lawyers at the bottom of the ocean? A: A good start!
Q: What's the difference between a dead skunk in the road and a dead lawyer in the road? A: There are skid marks in front of the skunk.
Q: Why won't sharks attack lawyers? A: Professional courtesy.
Q: What do have when a lawyer is buried up to his neck in sand? A: Not enough sand.
Q: How do you get a lawyer out of a tree? A: Cut the rope.
Q: Do you know how to save a drowning lawyer? A: Take your foot off his head.
Q: What's the difference between a lawyer and a bucket of manure? A: The bucket.
Q: What is the definition of a shame (as in "that's a shame")? A: When a busload of lawyers goes off a cliff.
Q: What is the definition of a "crying shame"? A: There was an empty seat.
Q: What do you get when you cross the Godfather with a lawyer? A: An offer you can't understand
Q: Why is it that many lawyers have broken noses? A: From chasing parked ambulances.
Q: Where can you find a good lawyer? A: In the cemetery
Q: What's the difference between a lawyer and a gigolo? A: A gigolo only screws one person at a time.
Q: What's the difference between a lawyer and a vampire? A: A vampire only sucks blood at night.
Q: Why to lawyers wear neckties? A: To keep the foreskin from crawling up their chins.
Q: What is the difference between a lawyer and a rooster? A: When a rooster wakes up in the morning, its primal urge is to cluck defiance.
Q: How many law professors does it take to change a light bulb? A: Hell, you need 250 just to lobby for the research grant.
Q: If you see a lawyer on a bicycle, why don't you swerve to hit him? A: It might be your bicycle.
Q: What do you call a smiling, sober, courteous person at a bar association convention? A: The caterer.
Q: Why do they bury lawyers under 20 feet of dirt? A: Because deep down, they're really good people.
Q: Why are lawyers like nuclear weapons? A: If one side has one, the other side has to get one. Once launched, they cannot be recalled. When they land, they screw up everything forever.
Q: What do lawyers and sperm have in common? A: One in 3,000,000 has a chance of becoming a human being.\
Seriously though, y'alls court case had some flaw, mainly your defense. You should have just came and surrendered before it even started