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Corrupt-A-Wish

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Because I am so original:

 

The concept is that you wish for something then the next poster grants that wish but with some kind of loophole to make it bad and then makes a wish of their own.

 

Example:

A: "I wish I could win the lottery"

B: "Granted. You then get mugged and lose your ticket"

 

So to start with: I wish I had an endless supply of coffee.

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You get addicted to caffeine and your kidneys fail :(

 

I wish for another wish.

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You get another wish that can only be used if you're on the Moon

 

I wish for baking equipment

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Granted, but you develop an allergy to gluten

 

 

I wish I had a new car

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Granted, but it runs on the blood of virgins.

 

I wish for eternal world peace.

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Granted, because all of us humans get wiped out.

 

I wish for 5 hours of uninterupted free time every day.

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Granted, but the rest of the time you're kept busy non-stop.

 

I wish for the annihilation of all life in the Universe.

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Granted, but the fine print in the wishing system protects the wisher from killing themself by mistake (the designers were considering use cases like "I wish for my neighbour's house to be hit with a nuclear missle"), so all life gets annhilated except you.

 

I wish for economic interstellar travel.

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Granted, but our voyages awaken an ancient alien race who wipe out all of humanity.

 

I wish for someone to [REDACTED]

Edited by Aloysius
:P

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Wish Granted Tank, but none shall know what it was.

 

 

I wish for a new house.

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Granted, but an endangered species is discovered to be living in the yard. Activists, biologists, and reporters monitor it 24-7 giving you no privacy. And you aren't allowed to cut the lawn.

 

I wash for a good babysitter who only charges $5/hour.

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Granted, but now you're paying to do washing for your babysitter.

 

I wish that the moon would collide with the Earth.

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Granted, but it bounces off somewhere in the ocean where no one gets a chance to record it and goes back into orbit.

 

I wish that Tank would stop wishig for end of the world scenarios.

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Granted. Tank stops wishing for end-of-the-world scenarios and starts causing end-of-the-world scenarios.

 

I wish I could float like a butterfly and sting like a bee.

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Granted, but you are now a curious hybrid insect, and you are caught and dissected by scientists.

 

 

I wish I could be employed to play CN

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Granted. :|

You have no life.

 

 

I wish that the experiments in generating power using nuclear fusion result in sustainable power in the next 20 years.

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Granted. But the fusion reactors get targeted by terrorists, and we all end up in nuclear winter.

 

 

I wish for NADC to win their war

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Granted. NADC will win the war, however, all the rum is destroyed in the crossfire.

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Granted, but

 

I wish for hoverboards.

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Granted, but you fall off yours and require long-term hospitalisation.

 

I wish for some nice fried food for lunch

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Granted, but it makes your hands greasy. After lunch, you drive to the nearby store for more food. Whilst queuing in some traffic caused by some stately visit or other, your greasy hands cause you to slip whilst changing gear and accidentally put it into reverse, and you back into a police car, hard. Now, this policeman's had a particularly bad month, and is at the end of his tether. You get out of your car and so does he, gun drawn. You see the mad glint in his eye, and decide to make a run for it. The police officer takes aim at your back, and fires a single shot. Fortunately for you, he misses! Unfortunately for him and pretty much everyone else in the world, his bullet happens to travel 1000 yards past you, and hits the visiting Premier of the People's Republic of China square between the eyes. The Chinese don't take this very well, and cease all diplomatic activity with [insert-your-country-here]. Tensions increase dramatically over the years, culminating in a state of war between the two nations, and eventually their numerous allies. Nukes are authorised. The world descends into oblivion.

 

I wish I never got holes in my socks.

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I wish I never got holes in my socks.

Fine! But you now have no toe nails.

 

I wish for more meaning and inspiration in life :o

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Granted, but the meaning and inspiration involves other people being mean to you!

 

I wish for a pet dinosaur (and an inventive corruption)

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Granted. Say hi to your wonderful new pet dinosaur.

 

 

Posted Image

 

Uploaded with ImageShack.us

 

Your new pet dinosaur loves you so much, he follows you around wherever you go, ensuring that nobody ever wants to be seen around you and you die very lonely. How sweet! Also, he watches you while you fap.

 

I wish [REDACTED].

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Wish granted, but none shall know what it was. ;)

 

I wish every pen in the world suddenly turned into a pencil.

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