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corazon

Corrupt-A-Wish

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Granted, but it is so full of bad news that you become suicidal.

 

 

I wish for a warmer toilet at work

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(i can sympathize with thaat wish) 

Granted!!! your toilet is full of oil thats on fire

 

I wish I had more cigerrets

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Granted, but they are electronic smokeless cigarettes

 

 

I wish my work had decent heating - not just always on or always off (our only choices)

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True, but it only works when everyones naked

 

I wish I could shine my new radiator cover well... so much sticky stuff got stuck on it...

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Granted, but the sticky stuff gets on your hands and won't come off... ever.

 

I wish I could get rid of the mental image Gradius gave me...

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Granted, but is is quickly replaced by memories of ur ex. Nop, not the hottie....the psycho one. Turns out to be more than a memory, and you find out she has been stalking you for years.

 

 

i wish sometimes that I wasn't single

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Granted, you get me and my crude personality.

 

I wish I had a gym of my own.

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Granted. Unfortunately you suffer a gruesome accident, and nobody is there to help...

 

 

I wish for a simpler life

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Granted, you don't even have to leave the bed and you become bored to death.

 

I wish the day was longer.

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Granted, there is no night and you cannot sleep.

 

I wish for a hottie ex to have memories of

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Granted but your wife finds out you have been fantasizing of someone else when you whisper your ex's name during sex,  she then proceed to dump you and take 100 % of your wealth

 

I wish this motherfucking flu would go away 

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Granted, but then you catch aids

 

I wish i didnt need glasses 

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granted but then you get your eyes poked out by a shady guy trying to rob you.
 

i wish i had a million dollars.

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Granted. In Monopoly money.

 

I wish I had a hot drink

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Granted hot drink falls on crotch burning your private spots. :)

 

i wish for a day were it wasnt cold in winter in ontario!

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Granted. That day coincides with a nuclear strike.

 

I wish for an awesome job.

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Granted, but while the job is awesome your co-workers stink. Figuratively and literally.

 

 

I wish for a world where technology actually succeeds in making life better and easier

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Granted!!!! the world is so easy that you dont even have to stand, you lay in chairs all day that move! This causes your bones to weaken, musscel to deteriorate and turn to fat. Now no one can stand out of their chairs or do much of anything.

 

 

I wish i had dual monitors at home like i do at work now! I love my tech guys

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Granted, but it tips your electricity bill over the edge of your budget, and begins a spiral of debt...

 

I wish for a cuddle

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granted, the person thats cuddles you gets internaly combust in your arms leaving you bloody.

 

 

i wish that more people would check out in soviet russia!!!!!!!

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