Dearly beloved members, faithful members of the alliance and the Church of the NADCupcake, as the Chief Baker, Icer and Decorator, I pronounce that it is time for us to once again take up arms, to repel this horrific invasion!
These forums are the Official Home of The Church of Cupecakeanity: The One True Faith of the NADC, and the only hope of salvation for Atlanticans.
Nostrum Sanctus Doctrina
Currently, The Chief Baker, Icer and Decorator and The Council of the Shepherds of the Scattered Hundreds and Thousands, Choc Chips and Blueberries has confirmed the following Doctrine; which was laid out in the Book of Sprinkles of The Holy Cakessian Text centuries ago.
Sprinkles I: 1-Infinity
On the day which had become known as Pancake Tuesday, the Cakessiah chose to release to mortals a set of commandments, which shall govern all true believers' lives and behaviours for all eternity. The Cakessiah sent two sheets of laminated cardboard down from a-high, each entitled: 'A Comprehensive Guide to Enlightenment for The Budding Cupcake-worshipper. Before long, the sheets were discovered, and, after centuries of worshipping the shiny-ness of the laminated cardboard sheets themselves, when mankind finally gained literacy, it was learnt that the sheets read:
I. Thou shalt worship one God, and that God shalt be known formally known as the Cakessiah, and casually refered to as the NADCupcake. This Cakessiah stands for all that is good in the world, namely Cupcakes.
II. Thou shalt resist the temptation to worship the dark side, otherwise referred to as cookies.
III. When referring to the Cakessiah or the NADCupcake, it is imperative that you use capital letters in the appropriate places.
IV. When referring to cookies and their evil, it is imperative that you never grace their unworthy titles with capital letters.
V. This particular guideline is useless as it does nothing.
VI. When referring to the Cakessiah with adjectives, those adjectives must too begin with capital letters.
VII. When referring to cookies and their evil with adjectives, you must not grace their unworthy titles' adjectives with capital letters.
VIII. Though shalt never consume a cookie, unless one is threatened with death to either consume a cookie or break one of these guidelines, in which case you must cut out your tongue, pull out your toenails and shake salt over your back until your first grey hair.
IX. Thou must not kill, unless in self-defence, a fit of rage or a planned attack.
X. Thou must routinely steal from cookie-believers.
XI. Thou must follow these rules refer to the punishment aforementioned in guideline VIII.
XII. In accordance with guideline V, thou shalt never . . .
Dear faithful members of Atlantica, I urge you so show solidarity against this foreign invasion, this assault against our ideals, morals and way of life. Show your support for the One True Religion of the NADC; show your love for the NADCupcake!